ankamonka

Holy shit!

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 04:05:32 GMT

I've lost 23lbs since moving to houston. my guess on why is because everyone seems to enjoy all of their food battered and deep fried. I can't eat very much of that kind of food or I'm flu-ish pukey sick. So I mostly make everything I eat from scratch.
Funny thing, I'm noticing that I'm better at making more complex dishes than something simple like macaroni and cheese (still ends up soupy whenever I make it). Glad I broke my 5 ingredients or less rule. It's making for some tasty, yet time consuming meals! Losing 20+ lbs doesn't hurt either eh?

my advice? don't get married.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:00:26 GMT

My husband chose to move out on Sunday. I don't think this is a bad thing, I do wish he wouldn't have been such a jack-ass about it though.

Things have been difficult since he was laid off, but in the last couple of weeks things went from difficult to unbearable. I'd come home from work and he'd be watching a movie, he wouldn't look up at me, and when the movie was over he'd go to sleep. If I tried to talk to him he wouldn't look at me, and when I'd ask him to he'd glare at me for a few seconds and then look back at his laptop.

2 weeks I mostly ignored it, I figured he was depressed, and would get over it. I asked him a few times if he was okay, and he'd say yes, or just look at me and then go back to whatever he was doing on the computer. Saturday I told him

I really needed him to talk to me. That this wasn't fair to me, and he refused. He just glared at me. I tried to do that whole staying calm thing, but there is something about having your husband act like a child that takes a perfectly normal person and makes them totally fucking nuts. By the end of the day I'm furious and he is still not talking. I left for a few hours to calm down, I came back and said, "you need to make a choice" and he told me he was moving out. I told him that was fine, and asked when. He told me Sunday.

The next day he's sleeping on the couch, and I asked him if he was still planning to leave, he again refused to talk to me and just glared. WTF?! I told him if he was staying then we needed to talk, and if he didn't talk there was no point, because bottom line I cannot live with someone who acts like I am annoying them, or their bitter with me, and wont at the very least tell me why.

In the end he packed up his stuff, told me he'd call me when he had a job, and we'd talk. So apparently he packs all of his books, all of his everything, and is still planning to come back? I doubt it.

He left 2 days ago, and other than the few moments of feeling like my heart is missing, I am totally fine with this. I just wish he'd talk to me, either telling me it's over, or telling me wtf his problem is.

Day 1

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:31:07 GMT

For those of you out there who are anti-diet pills... I just want to let you know, don't bother talking to me about it, I've already decided to go this route for now. =) peace and love.

Being entirely fed up with my weight, but being dumb enough in the past 3 years (as I've been gaining weight) to not do something about it, I'm at a point where I hurt myself when I'm working out. Example: A 20 minute walk can warrant a trip to the chiropractor to adjust my hip.
Things like that are humilating, going shopping for clothes is my worst chore ever, and god forbid someone pull out a camera.

So I did a lot of research online and the pill that gets the best reviews is Apidexin (www.apidexin.com) I talked with my husband and we decided to go for it, I mean, they are on sale!

I'm going to keep track of side effects, weight loss, emotions etc. on here. The posts beyond this will be closed, if you are interested in following, let me know!

Today is day 1, tomorrow I will weigh and measure myself.
Wish me luck, and little to no liver damage! (j/k)

**Update
I wasn't going to post until tomorrow, but I took this about 2 hours ago and I feel like I've had a bit too much caffine and I feel this total sense of calm well being. Like life is just super and fuzzy wonderful. It's really nice!

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:59:53 GMT

Rough couple of weeks.
My brother in law was deployed to Afghanastan for the next year. My sister is totally devastated, and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't just buy a ticket and go to Washington for a week or two. This just sucks.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:06:54 GMT

As a lot of you know my husband is a Lebanese citizen who is here on a work visa. Until today this visa was sponsored by Scantron, the company he worked for.
Today he got laid of, unfortunately unlike most companies Scantron does not continue to sponsor for a couple of months + after laying off their sponsored employees. Which means he has 10 days to find a job and be hired or his status will be invalid.
So I called INS and talked to them about this. There is no extension for this visa, I can sponsor him, but it takes 2 or more months from the date the paperwork is recieved for approval and not until then can he even start looking for work. The other option, move to Lebanon, wait 6 months and then he can start applying for jobs and hopefully get another work visa. OR! The most brilliant option INS gave me, while we're in Lebanon, I can get a job in the US that earns 125% above the poverty rate and I can sponsor him as a relative.
Okay.. here's the thing. If I made 125% above the poverty rate this wouldn't be an issue, he could be outside of status and we could get the paperwork started for his residency.
In the end, the only thing I have figure out is that the folks who run Scantron, and by run I actually mean the board members, suck. They have really screwed us because sponsoring for any amount of time after a lay off isn't something they do.
I hope they all have wonderful lives, then die and burn in hell.

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 15:56:54 GMT

today is the day. Just need to shower and take my equipment down to the comcast store. Then I'm going to the airport to pick up Mohammed, we'll have lunch, a really long lunch, and go get married. Then dinner with family. That's it. That's not too much. I can handle this.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:05:52 GMT

I get married on Saturday which I think should make me on the verge of losing my mind, but actually I'm over that now. I was able to get everything packed and since it's icy out I decided to go ahead and toss a few of the heavy things into the trunk. Today assuming this ice gets melted my co-worker Brehdan will be coming over to help me move the chairs to my mom's house. Once those are gone it's just a matter of getting everything else out to the dumpster area.
I'm happy.

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 11:35:21 GMT

Here's the thing, I like things clean.
This isn't a problem and I'm not going to talk down on it. I am who I am, and I like what I like. What makes me crazy is that people seem to get the impression that I'm looking down on them for not being clean. I meant not clean like how I'm clean.
Once they come to my apartment it's all over, anytime I'm at someone's house once they've been to mine suddenly it's not a chilled visit it's me sitting on the couch while they are picking up things, this last time, the reason for the post, vaccumming. Yes. like VVVRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Vaccuming. I'm sorry but that makes having a conversation pretty impossible.
For the record I don't care about your house, I don't live there. You should see my mom's place, I still love her. It's fine, it's cool, if you want to clean before I come have at it, but for christs sake don't do it while I'm there!
Silly people.

So I'm getting married in a few weeks. Just wanted to throw that out there in case you would have gotten me a wedding present if you had known, you know now. j/k ;D
No wedding presents please, I'm trying to downsize hugely.
So far I have a taker for the bed, the rugs, the night stand, the vanity, the tv, stand, dvd/vhs player, the vhs and dvd's with their stand, and Rob was very specific about wanting the Good Eats collection, but I still have a lot of things.

The funny thing about downsizing is you realize just how much junk you have, and how much of that junk you can't bear to part with.
Like the massive amount of shoes and purses. I have a lot of shoes. I mean I knew that, but the idea of getting rid of any of them... so what if I only wear my converse and my flip flops, I paid for.. at least half of those shoes. The purses.. well I didn't realize quite how many of those I had 2 boxes which totaled at 48. That's right 48 purses. Want to know how often I switch them out? Not enough to realize I had 48. Want to know when the last time I opened those boxes before tonight? No idea, I've moved these boxes a few times not really knowing what was inside. Now that I see them though, I want them.

So shoes are staying, purses are staying, my new lamp that I love because of it's efficent style is also staying, clothes, pictures/memories of other sorts, and computers are staying obviously. The bass.. I'm actually debating that one. I haven't played it in months, and I have no urge to. I'm keeping my pillows. I know it seems stupid, but if you think each pillow cost about $5 that's about $100 worth of pillows.

Something I'm excited about doing before I get married after I have everything moved out less the stuff I'm actually taking is cleaning my apartment when there is hardly anything left. Just the idea of how clean I could get it gives me chills! It's going to be great.

So orthodontist in the morning, tomorrow I have to break it to him that I'm moving and therefore need my x-rays and what have you. This is something else I'm a little happy about. I'm glad my orthodontist is popular, but there is a point at which you say, "I can no longer accept any more patients" If I get sick the day before my appointment and can't schedule to be in again for another month that's crap. I mean a week or two I get, but a month? I only go once a month, almost everyone who goes to him goes once a month. How is it that he has so many patients I can't go again for a month? Freaking bullshit. Additionally the fact that he said the braces would take about a year and then at that year mark I said, "So a year eh?" and his response was, "Guess I really low balled that one" was not too inspiring. If I could go back in time would I have gotten braces? Yes, I just would have chosen another orthodontist.

So to add to my annoyances, my skin suddenly has taken on this whole new height of sensitivity. I mean my skin has always been pretty sensitive but now that baby wash I thought was so fantastic is suddenly making my skin all irritated. I mean I'm guessing it's the soap, I haven't changed anything else, same laundry soap, same lotions. I don't know it seems like a losing battle. Unfortuantely it costs way too much to go in to a dermatologist to find out what to do about it. I'll just be irritated skin girl for a while until I figure something else out.
The funny thing about this, that I'm comfortable saying because I know no one ever reads this far into my posts, is that it itches this time, it never itches it just usually looks bad. Bleh!

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 07:21:14 GMT

Everytime I watch Sicko I become so disturbed by our medical system. I mean right I know people don't like Michael Moore, and I really don't care, and there is no need to comment on the fact that documentaries are showing only one side of the issue, because I realize this. I feel as though a lot of what is said in this documentary is so much of what I've been saying for years. I just don't own a nice camera, have a crew, or a budget to travel around interviewing people. So Woohoo to those who do, and are on my side about the issues!

Today I watched Sicko because my mom is in the hosipital, she had surgery yesterday, and they decided they needed to do a blood transfusion today because she'd lost a lot of blood.. which she has been for quite some time, hence the need for the surgery. Rather than wonder if this is serious or just a precaution, I was wondering how my mom is going to pay for it. Due to the events leading up to the surgery she wasn't able to work which became "A hardship for the company" and they fired her. Funny thing is that it wasn't like she was taking paid medical leave, and due to the season business is very slow... but I digress.
Yes she has insurance through the end of the month, so some of it will be paid, but what I'm thinking about is the fact that I have good medical insurance, better than so many, and if I were to get a similar surgery, with at least 3 days in the hospital, not to mention recovery costs, prescription costs, and the however many trips to the emergency room that she had prior to the surgery, I'd be up a creek. Seriously up a creek, the difference is I wouldn't have been fired for it. Thank you Comcast for not being some seedy little company like the one my mom worked for.

Tomorrow I'll go see her, hopefully she will be doing well and be released from the hospital. I'll go pick up some flowers, thank you valentines day for making that one really easy to do :), Maybe I should get her a balloon too, there's something special about getting a balloon with your boquet. Maybe a card.. Cards are nice too.

Anyhow, rant rant, happy thursday! (or friday to those of you who are in mountain time and further east)

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:04:27 GMT

That's it. I'm moving.
If all goes well and there are no changes between now and then, I'll be moving to Orange County on the 16th. I was hoping to just get a transfer to Comcast down there, but it looks like unless I want to be a tech, they aren't hiring, and he thinks that a tech would be too hard so what will probably happen is I'll move down and find a temp agency and pick up some kind of office job.

As we are leaving on the 16th and he will be here on the 14th (we're driving down so it really sqwooshes the time we'll be here) and I would like everyone to meet him, except Rob who will meet him when he's out of training =) Yay!
So you know the days, so lets make the plans?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:25:45 GMT

I have this ongoing battle with my skin. I have very very sensitive skin, so sensitve you could tell a story about a day you spent in South Florida and I'll have a sunburn by the end.
What seems to really bother my skin more than anything else is everything soap related. Shampoo, body wash, laundry detergent. I get these little bumps all over my more sensitive area's like my chest shoulders, and the back of my neck.
After much money and switching different kinds of soaps multiple times I believe I found the perfect combination. Drell detergent, which is expensive, but doesn't make my skin break out, and for the shower baby hair and body wash. Which is fairly inexpensive in comparison to the other soaps I've been buying. Doubly good is that I use it for shampoo and body wash so one less bottle of something in the shower, and as you ladies and you guys who live with ladies... well ladies who take care of themselves... know we have a lot of bottles of things in the shower.
I'm so happy.

In other news, it looks like I'll be moving to Orange county in March.
and funny thing, I can't seem to spell Orange the first time around. It was Organic 3 times before I got it right. Apparently I would rather be moving to Organic County. lol

my new favorite show

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:13:54 GMT

recently I started watching the f word and am really into it. Not totally sure what about it that pulls me in, but it's officially a series recording on my dvr.

I love it.

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 08:39:28 GMT

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:06:46 GMT

Well things seem to be sorting themselves out.
I'm fully moved in thanks to my younger brothers John and Isaac, who braved the icy roads to come and help me move my things after the person who was going to help bailed on me. I'm going to do something for them when I have a little extra money. I was really up a creek when I called to see if they would be willing to help.

Today is nice, I was able to get almost everything unpacked and set up last night, so today I went to the store to get all those things I didn't have like.. food, paper towels, and dishwasher soap. I love it when you're done and have like $200 in groceries and then slide the savings card and find out what a good shopper you are. It's like a game. Today I saved $40. I dig it.

For those who don't know, I don't recall if I wrote about it or not, I ended the engagement with Hatem. I decided this time around I need something a bit lighter, so now I'm seeing someone named Sami. He was born here, and then his family moved to Sudan when he was around 5, and he's been back in the US for about 6 years. He's muslim which is important, he cooks me dinner, we just have a good time together. It's nice.

For those who have been waiting for me to have a phone again, I am shutting my comcast off at the old address, giving the folks there a bit of time to set themselves up, and then once that is set up for disconnect I'll get my services installed here. Probably around the second week of January.

Something that is really hitting me today is how happy I am to be out of the apartment, it's warm here, there's light that isn't coming from me flipping a light switch, and it's so calm. I really missed calm, so happy to have it back.

Wooooohooooo!

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:15:51 GMT

I got the apartment.
The one directly across from my work.
I get the keys tomorrow, so I'll be moving my things in over the next week.

On a negative note, my effin chains for my tires are too small. Stupid asses at les schwab.

*update*
I got the correct chains and holy shit those were hard to put on. It took me and Genny 1/2 hour to put them on. Swear to god if it doesn't snow tonight, I'm going to be so pissed. lol

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 09:12:12 GMT

Not to keep going with this, but oh my god I am so sick.
My roommate tried to be nice by picking me up something to eat, but oh dear god the smell of fast food just put me back on my knees before the washroom gods.
I've been trying to sleep, but now I'm way too hot. I thought being cold was bad, being hot.. ugh.
I'm filling up my awake time by chatting with some muslim guys that I've been "matched" with.
Here's what I've found in these conversations;
1. The ones who have been described as "nice" are looking to get laid.
2. The ones who have been described as "sweet" are looking to get laid.
3. The ones who have been described as "religious" are looking to get married very quickly so they can get laid.
4. The ones who have been described as "a perfect match" are two things. 1. On the wrong continent. 2. Think they can talk me into paying for a ticket to fly allll the way over there, so they can get laid.

Wtf eh?

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:58:46 GMT

Friday was my last day of vacation, and that's the day I got a really bad cough. Saturday while at work it got worse, but it's just a cough so no big deal, I can work and cough. Yesterday still coughing, taking cough drops, and found out those mentholated tissues make my nose bleed, but they give me a fairly nice light high. Work was cold, like freezing cold, everyone else said it was a little chillier than usual, but I couldn't stand it and ended up complaining about how it was miserable to be at work because it was so cold, and not too long after someone turned the heat up.
Today had trouble staying asleep, it was too cold, so I put my heater on high and brought it closer to my bed, but still couldn't warm up. Went and took a hot bath and felt better for a good hour, then got cold again. Not like "it's kind of chilly" but like, "holy christ, did it start snowing inside?" So for lack of a better idea I went and soaked in a hot bath again. This time instead of feeling warm I just felt a little cold, but nothing like before.
Went back to bed and then as I tried to fall asleep I realized I was getting that "I'm going to be sick" feeling, and I was.
Now I'm feeling significantly better, so I wonder, should I call in to work? Should I go to work. The preference would be to go to work, but I'm not sure if I'm going to get sick again.
Also, I'm warm now.. So that's a good thing right, that means I probably wont be sick again.. right?
Days like today are when I need someone in my life who will just tell me what I should do.
This is one of those days when independent, thick skinned Annika runs away and needy, sensitive Annika takes her place.

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 10:25:03 GMT

This time of the year always leaves me feeling a bit needy.
You'd think being Muslim that I wouldn't have any sort of christmas feelings, and yet..
It makes my heart ache to think about my relationship with my two youngest brothers, Ethan and Cameron. They started school this year, and I haven't seen them in over two years. I don't even know if I'd recognize them if I were to see them.

I think about my dad, what a jack-ass. What kills me about him is that I think he fully wants a relationship with all of his kids, but is just too impatient to do any work toward it.
Last christmas was the last I heard from him. I got an email from him on 12/24/07
"Annika
I know this isn't a holiday that you celebrate, but I miss you so much and especially now. I hate what has happened between us. I wish I could turn time back, this division has seemed like quicksand and I fear making it worse but I want to try to begin mending the tear between us. I am so sorry for the way things turned out, things I said and did that made it worse. I have gone in circles trying to think my way back. We shifted so suddenly...
I want to make things better with you, and hope that I have not made them worse in writing you now, but I don't know what else to do. I hope we can start.
If there is a way... I want to begin to fix this. Life is not the same absent you.
dad"

Reading this now just tears me up. I tried to be honest with him hoping maybe we could actually work past it if he knew how I really felt about it I waited a few days and then on the 27th responded with this:

"It's hard to know how to respond. How many times have we been through this same thing and nothing ever gets resolved, we just ignore it and move on. I can't do that now.
Emailing me now didn't make things worse, not talking to me for.. how many months, that's pretty bad. Leaving me with an apartment debt of almost $600 also pretty bad. I know you don't owe me anything, you made that very clear, but I always assumed being human I was owed the same as any other human and that would keep me from being financially screwed by my father. You told Isaac that I dominated all your time while you were here, but if you look back there were days I wanted to do my own thing and you would sound so hurt by it, I abandonded my life and my friends because you were having such a hard time. You hurt me and the only reason I could think of why you would is because I asked you to return a stupid movie. For what it's worth I hate that movie now but I don't hate you, I don't know how I could have a relationship with you and it kills me that I can't see my brothers because of this and I don't know how I would ever feel comfortable coming there because I saw and heard what you said to John and Isaac and I can't imagine you were kinder with your words about me to Jen.
I feel like you stole part of my family. I have cried over the thought of possibly never seeing them again.
How do I know this wouldn't happen again.
You hurt me and I am still hurt."

I never got a response back, it's almost 1 year later and just nothing. I can sit back and think about all the times I've been in relationships, engaged, etc, and I can see it all spinning out into this one relationship. I don't trust people, because I know how much they can hurt you. Then when I do start to feel a little trust I get scared and back way off, I get cold and try to put distance between me and whoever I'm with.
I know I have flaws, big flaws. I know these flaws are my own, and if I were a better, stronger person I could get over them. All I've really learned how to do is just fake it. Fake happiness, fake stability.

There are things I wont ever do, due to the relationship I have with my dad. I wont have kids in fear I'll be just like him. I probably wont ever actually go through with getting married, because I'm afraid that this great guy I'm with will show his "true colours", and I probably wont ever have that wonderful content feeling that I so desperatly want.
I'm competitive because I think I'm not good enough, and I feel like I have to win, at least with that people think it's funny and charming. My little quirk. I'm totally calm until I feel like whatever is going on is a competition then *BOOM!* I'm a whole other person.

Anyhow, I should go to bed. I get to go to work again tomorrow. Finally! This vacation has been so long.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:34:51 GMT

So I got the official "boot" today. I had been planning to move to Egypt this month, but then got a bit nervous about the whole marriage thing, as I do, and became dis-engaged.
I let my Nicole (who rents me the apartment) know, and she seemed excited that I was staying, until today. Today I got a message on my voicemail from Steven (the other person who I rent from) and was let know that he'd already rented the apartment. So I now have until January to find another place to live.
So I started looking, I never stopped looking actually. Here's the problem, I don't make a lot of money, I need something that fits within my income along with all my other things, and facts are there is just nothing listed in my price range online, so I started just calling around to apartment complex's figuring maybe the cheaper ones wouldn't be listed online. No luck, everything is about $300-400 more than I can afford.
I broke down and called a rental agency, and wonder of wonders they are finding things that are UNDER my price range. Wtf you ask? Me too, so I asked, and she said there are some places that only go through rental agencies, duplex's, triplex's etc. and the fee for them doing all the work to get you set up is about $190. To me very worth it to me as it seems I have no skill in finding these places on my own.
After getting off the phone with the rental agency I started wondering what I should be asking, and then it hit me, I am not good with this stuff. Not even a little good, which is funny given that I can take a vacation for next to nothing, you'd think.... whatever. So I called my friend Cathy who is a master negotiator and asked her to come along because she thinks of things to ask that I don't.
My questions tend to be things like, "Is there a dishwasher?" or "Does the lease agreement hold the price of the apartment for the length of the lease?" but not, "So this fee, is it all up front or half now, half when I've agreed to the apartment?" Which is a really smart question that was the first out of Cathy's mouth when I told her about it.
If you're the praying or wishing on a star type..
Christ I so am not wanting to pack and move and unpack and move my phone internet and cable services.. Guess I've got no choice now.

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:06:33 GMT

I love documentaries.
I love documentaries about religion.
I hate the moment in each of those documentaries when some religious guy, priest, rabbi, sheik, bishop etc. says, "You know there is something special about (insert religion) when after (insert amount of years) we have stayed so strong, and haven't given way to (insert enemy religion)."
Every freaking time. This leads me to belive I am right in thinking that there is not one correct religion, they all have their good points... Except scientology, but who would consider that a religion... it's all about how it makes you feel.
This is why I was atheist for so long, none of them brought me the feeling that others talked about feeling... I still don't, Islam was just the only one that made me second guess myself.

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 11:42:10 GMT

As some of you know I'm a very competitive person. Not just your run of the mill competitive, but over the top competitive. I found a new way of expressing my competitive side recently at work. I never thought much about commission as it's just a nice little extra, and on average will get about $70 extra in commission a month. Then one day I was reading the commission email from my supervisor letting us know our rankings in the team, and suddenly it hit me, I was losing! I was #5 in the team and #15 in the department.
Suddenly it was on. I drew up a grid and put my co-worker Beth's name and my name in the grid then listed the items one can make commission on and started tracking our sales. Beth didn't want to compete, but I kept marking her sales until she got into it. Suddenly out of no where she took off and started making sale after sale.
This wasn't what I'd expected.
On an average day I'll upgrade 2 or 3 people to the 16mg hsi, make 1 or 2 spp sales and if I'm lucky I'll average 1 cdv sale in a week. That day I had 16 hsi upgrades and 8 spp's (cdv is hard to sell) and she had 15 hsi upgrades and 5 spp's. We decided to keep the competition on and other people were joining, so the grid got larger and larger.
Beth went from ranking 140th to 30th and I jumped up to 4th in the department, and top on the team.
Work has gotten very fun, When I see calls on hold I'm actually thinking, "Ooooh! 14 potential sales" or "Those could get me to 3rd in the department.
So funny thing, what didn't occur to me this whole time is that I'm making money off of this. My commission cheque for next month is $550, and I am getting a $140 bonus for where I placed in the ranking. That's $690 extra. When Brad, my supervisor, showed this to me my jaw dropped and I said, "I think this is wrong.." He assured me it wasn't and I almost cried. Two reasons for this, One being that I really need that money right now and Two, CRAAAAAAAAP! Now the competition starts all over, except now it's not against my co-workers it's about the amount. I have to make more than that next month or I lose. Stupid damn it.
What sucks is that even if I didn't feel like it I really do feel like I have to, or I fail.

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 07:07:49 GMT

A work buddy made a comment the other day that struck me as very funny. She said, "You look said, you're usually so happy-go-lucky."
Happy go lucky? Me? Wow. I should hang out with this person outside of work, in real life where I'm not nearly so chipper.
Seems weird that at work I really am happiest. Life in general... enh I think I'm a fairly happy person, but I can't imagine that anyone who has spent any significant amount of time with me would say happy go lucky, maybe happy for the most part.
After she said that I was thinking about it, fact was the reason I didn't look happy was probably because I was uncomfortable, I had my contacts in and was actually wearing some makeup. Anyhow, it reminded me of when my friend Eli asked me why I was always so happy, and I couldn't really answer him with anything better than, "I don't know I just am." I think I can answer it now though.
How can I not be happy? I mean yes things aren't exactly the best they've ever been, but they are far from the worst. How great is that? I mean when you've experienced a horrible time in your life, and we all have, just looking back on that and realizing that you've been through worse keeps what's going on now in perspective. If things are the worst they've ever been, it's easy to see people who have or are going through things far worse than anything you've ever and hopefully wont ever experience.
It's easy to be happy. I figure if I just fake it long enough I'm bound to be happy eventually, and it seems to work for me.
This doesn't mean I don't worry about things, I worry about a lot of things, I just realize that any worry I may have isn't enough to put on someone else's plate, they have their own worries, and I've just uses a hell of a lot of probably unnecessary comma's. ;D
Of course if you read my live journal and any worry I put in here and decide to spend any amount of time thinking about them, that was your choice so all the above no longer applies.
Good times

One of my biggest pet peeves.

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 19:44:23 GMT

It's pronounced Coo-pon not que-pon.
If I hear Genny say Que-pon again I am going to buy a gun and shoot myself.
The word coupon did not originate in Two-sticks Alabama, don't pronounce it like it did. Gah!

fun with roommates

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:28:26 GMT

Chad is sleeping, and I'm trying to keep my brain distracted.
I was thinking about how I haven't done anything to my current roommate. No taping the sink sprayer down or.. well anything.
So I swapped doorknobs. Front door is now on the garage door and garage door is now on the front door. This is actually more than just a little prank, neither of us have keys to the garage door, and that's the one that's sort of the front door since it's on the side of the street. Much easier to access than the back door which the landlord decided to use as a "temporary" junk storage area.
So now to wait for her to come home and try her key in the door. *falls over laughing*
Oh right, and I broke the garage door handle when I was taking it off, so it doesn't lock, but that's okay because we have the deadbolts too.. and I can always replace it with a new one.. a new one that we'll have keys to.
Good times!

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 10:33:55 GMT

In order to not think about other things..

My brother Rob is in the Marines, and he was telling me how they use the acronym BAMCIS (Begin the planning, Arrange for reconnaissance, Make reconnaissance, Complete the planning, Issue the order, Supervise) When referring to a very hot girl. So I decided to make some shirts.
Here are my ideas,

"I'm to BAMCIS for this shirt"
"The few, the proud, the BAMCIS"
"It's okay if you're not BAMCIS, you have a lovely personality"
"Ask me about BAMCIS, and if you qualify"